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Polygamy/Polyamory

I will greatly be expanding on this section, as I believe there is a great deal of misunderstanding on this topic. For now, please know that I DO NOT believe in forced polygamy (or forced polyamory), or for that matter, forced anything. I'm also not talking about carte blanche swinging recklessly without mutually agreed upon rules, but rather safely sharing ourselves only with those we really love and trust, but being open to that love... But more about that another time.

If you missed reading my main reason for why I am interested in polyamory, please see Why Polyamory on my main page.

Polygamy in the Bible

I've created this section only to answer those religious conservatives who rail against polygamy, as if it's something evil or perverted. Again, keeping in mind that I'm only referring to relationships that are consensual to all parties involved, then what exactly is wrong with truly and sincerely loving and providing for more than one person? You should know that I actively lobby (not full-time) for changing the laws regarding this issue.

Actually, this topic is often raised as a tangent of the gay marriage debate. Some conservatives argue that, "If we allow gay marriage, what's next? Polygamy?" To which I'm thinking, "Have you even read your Bible?"

The following are Biblical citations of instances where polygamy was practiced by some of the most notable Biblical characters. There are even examples where polygamy was actually encouraged by angels (purportedly speaking for God), seen as a blessing and reward, and in fact, laws made (purportedly from God, as relayed by Moses) regarding a man's obligations if he takes a second wife. Now, religion is a topic I'll get into deeper at another time. Long story short, I believe the Holy Spirit, however you define that, and whatever you call Him/Her/It, has inspired ALL religions, and that no one religion has a monopoly on the "Truth." That being said, note that I'm not saying, "Polygamy was condoned, even by God, in the Bible, so therefore we should all practice polygamy (or polyamory)." No, I'm saying, "Don't try claiming 'God is against polygamy,' because after reading the citations below, you will see that you have no sound Biblical basis to make that claim.

# Man Wives Biblical citation
1 Lamech had 2 wives, Adah and Zillah (mother of Tubal-cain) Genesis 4:19
2 Abram (a.k.a. Abraham) his wife, Sarai, offered her handmaid, Hagar to Abram. Genesis 16:2
3 Jacob wives Leah and Rachel (sisters). Rachel also offered her maid, Bilhah Genesis 29:28, 30:4
4 Esau wives Adah, Aholibamah, Bashemath Genesis 36:2
5 Moses his wives, Zipporah and the Ethiopian (Cushite) woman [not named]
† In addition, Moses explicitly set rules for polygamy, stating “If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment (clothes), and her duty of marriage (sex), shall he not diminish.
Exodus 2:21 & Numbers 12:1
† Exodus 21:10
6 Solomon 700 wives, 300 concubines I Kings 11:3
7 Rehoboam
(son of Solomon)
Had 18 wives and 60 concubines. "Rehoboam loved Maacah daughter of Absalom more than any of his other wives and concubines. In all, he had eighteen wives and sixty concubines, twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters." 2 Chronicles 11:21
8 King David Had multiple wives (at least six that are named) and concubines, clearly with God’s blessing. “And David knew that the LORD had established him as king over Israel and had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel. After he left Hebron, David took more concubines and wives in Jerusalem, and more sons and daughters were born to him.2 Samuel 5:12-13 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, 14:3
9 n/a More rules for polygamy (ostensibly from God): “If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love.Deuteronomy 21:15-16
10

And to those who would contend that those references only apply in the Old Testament, Jesus explicitly said that ALL those old rules still apply.

Jesus said: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law (the Old Testament) or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law (the Old Testament) until everything is accomplished. (Matthew 5:17-18)

Write to me at: ray@dateray.com to tell me what you think.