- I am Smart, Successful, and Single!

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“Ambitious Publisher/Philanthropist
Seeks Soulmate to Share this Adventure of Life,
Which We Write Ourselves Each Day!”

Location: I own a house in Albany, NY
Second residence in Astoria, NY [Queens] for work in Manhattan (NYC - New York City area)
Age: 45 (male, straight, single)
Contact me at:

Describe myself:

I am a passionate die-hard romantic who still believes in chivalry, honor, honesty, love, having fun, uncensored excellent communications, philanthropy, integrity, and generally doing the right thing. I'm very ambitious, intelligent, and articulate. Many would also tell you that I'm very funny, a good and generous friend, and an honorable man. I'm usually the one people turn to when they need someone they can depend on.

I also have some useful skills and hobbies, such as that I enjoy cooking, giving (and receiving) massages, deep philosophical conversations, playing, dancing, camping, horseback riding, singing, writing, going to Renaissance fairs, and more. I would love to meet someone to go do more active things, like dancing, racquetball, biking (or if you prefer, cycling), or white-water rafting. That's the fun kind of exercise.

I particularly enjoy romancing the woman that I love, getting to know her dreams and ambitions, helping in any way I could. I enjoy making her feel loved as I rub her feet while we relax watching a movie at home. Life is more fun when the adventure is shared and appreciated together.

What I’m doing with my life

I make a very good living as a highly sought-after IT Consultant. However, I have started my own IT company, and am trying to transition to making that my full-time revenue. It's initial focus is based on a patent pending invention of mine related to a better way for encrypting text.

I own a house in Albany, NY, but since my current contract is in Manhattan, I also have an apartment here in Astoria, NY. I'm always open to meeting new and fascinating people. I love my friends!

Describe my match:

So, what are you like? For starters, optimists only need apply. I'm sorry, but I have no time for energy draining wraiths of negativity. As a philanthropist, I want to share my life with someone who also believes in doing the right thing, helping instead of hurting each other. Do you believe in honesty? Integrity? Honor? How about Love? Do you believe in Magick, and the ability to create what you envision?

I'm looking to find someone with whom I could share my dreams and fantasies, and who would share their dreams and fantasies with me. Someone with whom to enjoy travel, fine wine and dining, dancing, romancing, LIVING, exploring, laughing, playing, relaxing, talking, and eventually, raising children in a world made better by our efforts.

Why polyamory?

Why am I ideally seeking a polyamorous bisexual woman for a LTR? It's far beyond simply a fantasy. It's because I know that I have loved and will love some of my closest friends, and that in no way diminishes the love I would have for my soulmate, and my devotion to her. Notice how much I bring up the ‘L’ word there? I mean it. There are some amazing people out there, and I just know that I will LOVE and care for more than any one person, and want to be up front about that, and would want my wife/lover (life partner) to not be afraid or feel threatened by that kind of love when we act responsibly about it without deception. I would hope my wife loved them as well. I honestly believe we would be stronger together (emotionally, romantically, financially, etc) than if we tried to be each other's "everything." [And yes, I would also be open to sharing you with other lovers as well (male or female) so long as 1.We both knew and agree to it (and to be clear, I myself am not bisexual). 2. We were ALL tested to be free of STD’s/HIV 3. It was not vindictive or because of any problems between us.] Polygamy may be illegal but loving each other in polyamory/polyfidelity is not.

I understand that many people believe in and are looking for monogamy, but the statistics of that actually working out aren’t good (which can be fatal), and I would much rather know if my wife/lover was attracted to or loved another person, than have her have an affair that I did not know about. Plus, while some people might worry that there’s a danger that she could fall more in love with someone else, I’m not worried about that. If she did find that she loved another more than she loved me, I would want her to be with whomever she was happiest. The best that I can do is be the best man I know how to be so that she has every reason to choose me. I don’t believe in possessiveness. I do not cheat, and would want the same back. I hope this has clarified what I’m looking for and why a bit. I realize a good percentage of women may have already written me off their list, even as a potential friend (and yes, I do have platonic friends too!) which is a shame because they may have really liked me if they had gotten to know me. But you’ve read this far, so perhaps you’re intrigued! I hope so.

So, tell me about you! What are your dreams or ambitions? What do you want out of Life? What are you looking for in a match? What are your Red Flags (hey, let's not waste our time)?

More than just about any other attribute, I am looking for someone who believes in good communications together. Whatever the relationship, in order for it to be successful, it takes good communications.


Optimism, honesty, good communications and a willingness to express thoughts and share fantasies, touch, open-mindedness, passion, adventurism, long hair, singing, playfulness, compassion, compersion, philanthropy, and empathy.


Pessimism, selfishness, breaking promises, lying, apathy, jealousy, prejudice, suicidal tendencies.


I love to cook(Chinese fried rice being one of my specialties), camping, riding horseback, dancing, racquetball, billiards, archery, watch movies, snuggle, listen to great music(Classical to Classic Rock), inventing, teaching, being productive, Renaissance fairs, playing computer games, Role Playing, acting, and relaxing with good friends for whom there is little I would not do.

I’m really good at

Making people laugh and smile. I'm also good with coming up with win-win scenarios. Or even win-win-win. I'm a philanthropist, and believe that when people think beyond just themselves, but rather focus on how everyone can mutually benefit together, the solutions they find can solve even the toughest problems. I'm an optimist, so I believe in never giving up. I'm really good at inspiring people, and getting them to open up to me. I'm particularly good at finding solutions to complex problems, or explaining complex concepts in simple terms (professionally, I'm a Business and Systems Analyst/Technical Writer/Documentation Specialist, Programmer/Developer, Solutions Architect, so that's my job).

The first things people usually notice about me

The first thing that people notice about me is that I am very articulate and direct in my communication, and curious to learn about the person I'm meeting. It is also likely that very quickly they will learn that I am highly intelligent, multi-talented, ambitious, passionate, romantic, and honorable. These are the things that women would notice about me after a first date.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Ray's Books:

Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Harry Potter series (Rowling), The Foundation series (Asimov), RiverWorld series (Farmer), Stranger in a Strange Land (Heinlein), the short stories of Edgar Allen Poe

As for non-fiction, my most recent books have been Critical Confrontations, The Inventor's Bible, Service Oriented Architecture for Dummies, and The Ethical Slut.

Ray's Movies:

Too many to list... Altered States, Exorcist III, The Abyss, American Beauty, Dances with Wolves, West Side Story, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Dune, Braveheart, Platoon, Raider of the Lost Ark, Star Wars (the first three made), The Paper, Silence of the Lambs, and many, many more...

Ray's Music:

From Classical to Classic Rock, Beethoven to Blues Traveler. Some notables; Pink Floyd, Yes, Peter Gabriel, The Moody Blues, Queen, Rush, Alan Parsons Project, The Beatles, Styx, Kansas, Led Zepplin, Meatloaf, Frank Zappa, Genesis, Tchaikovsky, Gershwin, Chuck Mangione, Jethro Tull, Alice Cooper, Alanis Morissette, Poe, Primus, Billy Joel, Collective Soul, Joe Walsh, Eagles, The Who, System of a Down, Anthrax, Metallica, AC/DC, The Underground Horns, and many more...

Food I Like:

When eating out - Chinese, Continental, Seafood, Italian, Diner Food, Mexican, German, French, Indian, Other experimental cuisines, pretty much in that order of preference.

I like to cook a variety of things. For breakfast I can make great omelets, French toast, pancakes, or eggs how ya like 'um with home fries. I'm not going to list all my dinner dishes, but Chinese Fried Rice is one of my favorites, Spanish Arroz Con Pollo, steaks, lasagna, chicken parmigiana, pizza, calzones, baked chicken, cheeseburgers, pork roasts, sauces, if you're sick I'll make you egg drop soup and if you would like I'll bake you white chocolate chip cookies(or whichever kind you like).

I would like to not HAVE to do ALL the cooking (I mean beside those days that we went out to eat). I am very appreciative of meals that are cooked for me and unless I find something completely inedible, I don't complain. However, I don't lie, so if you ask me how it tastes I'm going to tell you the truth, good or bad. If I found it not to my taste buds liking I would thank you for making it, express what I truly thought of it, and try to offer constructive criticism for how it might be made more pleasing to my palate. If I say "It's good" I mean it, and thank you for the love that you put into making it. I sure do appreciate you. If I say, "It's very good" or "It's excellent" or "This is great!" then yummy, yummy, please remember to do that again sometime, and I love you! :) [maybe there's some truth to that "way to a man's heart is through his stomach" thing].

The six things I could never do without:

  • My Honor
  • My Integrity
  • My Love for Life
  • My Freedom of Expression
  • My Dreams and Ambitions
  • My Faith and Belief in Our Power to Make Our Most Beautiful Dreams Reality

I spend a lot of time thinking about...

How to make things better in this nation and world. I don't just think about it. I'm a philanthropist publisher that puts out a monthly newspaper teaching people of all political parties and ideologies how to better know their government, the bills being proposed at State and Federal levels, and news from around the world that we need to know about here.

On a typical Friday night I am...

It varies. I am interested in meeting people who are optimistic, honorable, honest, playful, intelligent, and fun so we can explore this world together and savor the joys and blessings of life.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

It's already a matter of public record that I occasionally smoke marijuana. That's about it. I'm not into alcohol much, but have been trying to have a glass of wine or two since it's said to be good for the heart.

You should message me if...

You should message me if you are a woman that would be interested in a friendship (platonic or otherwise) or more, including if you are looking for a Long-Term-Relationship (LTR) that could even be life-long, yet polyamorous.

I am not interested in one-night stands, and I believe in having myself and my prospective lovers first getting tested to ensure we are free from STD's including HIV. Let's be sure we're not hurting each other before we play. :)

My friends would tell you that I'm a lot of fun to be around. But everyone is different,
so you'll just have to decide for youself. Tell me what's on your mind. Write to me at,
and tell me what you think. About any of this. I would very much like to know, whether good or bad.
Would you like me to keep you posted as I update this site? Let me know. Hope to hear from you.

- Ray

To see more photos of Ray, see Photos.
To see more discussion on the topic of Polyamory, see Polyamory.
To see additional details about Ray, see About Ray.

Write to Ray at: